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Don't believe everything i've said, heck, don't believe anything. Learn to differentiate facts and personal opinions. Do your OWN research, then, CHOOSE what to believe.

Wednesday, May 2, 2012

Projek BM : Intro - Persoalan Nikah, Khitbah dan Ikhtilat


Perhubungan dan Batasan Antara Lelaki Perempuan
I am a Muslim Arab youth. I got to know a Muslim girl of Arab origin who lives overseas, through the internet. It was – and still is – a relationship within the limits of the laws of Allaah, because, praise be to Allaah, I fear Allaah a great deal. I love her and she loves me because she is a committed Muslim girl, and she also fears Allaah. Our love is for the sake of Allaah, in sha Allaah.
I proposed marriage to her, and she accepted and agreed, and I praised Allaah for answering my du’aa’ by blessing me with a righteous wife, especially since I have wanted to get married and settle down for a number of years. She told her mother, who is a non-Arab, and she agreed at first, because her father had been away from them from a while. Her father recently returned, and she was happy, but he had come to tell his daughter to get ready to marry a man from her father’s country, without asking his daughter’s opinion of the prospective groom. She is afraid of him because he beats her sometimes, and she sometimes says that he is crazy; may Allaah guide us and him.
She told me that she does not want to marry this man and that she wants to marry me, and I told her the same thing. She said to me: What do you think of marrying me in secret, then we tell her father what has happened. She is over 18 years of age.




I asked a sister for her hand in marriage on-line and we talk to each other casually on the internet; is it allowed to speak to her even though I am not able to get married until I graduate (in 3 years).
was salamu alaykum



Well a year from now one of my friend, a girl, had introduced me to one of her online brother..and we have been talkin online for about a year now. Its not like we have ever talked about anything indecent, we talk in a well respected manner, and he sometimes jokes around,too. We both are aware of our religion..and we know how it is haraam to have girlfriends or boyfriends. But over time we both hav grown interested in each other.. and he has told me that he wants to marry me, but right now is too soon, i m only 16 and will be 17 in 2 months... the situation is too hard to explain...and i am really confused on what should be done..and what shouldnt. I really dont want to do anything that is Haraam or isnt right.. and i do have faith in Allah..that if he is good for me oneday we will be together... So i just needed some advice on this.. is talkin to a non-mahram guy online wrong?.. And this is the only way we know each other which is through internet...we havent met..but we have seen each other's pictures.. Well i hope all this makes sense to you..and you will be able to help me out here, cause right now i really need it.. i have been lookin through ur site and trying to learn more about our religion..and it is mashallah a good source.. but me still confused..about this situation... we havent done anything wrong..just talk online.. and hoping that Allah will guide us to be together... but the question that keeps coming up on my mind is if Islaamicaly is all this acceptable.. i have talked to other ppl..and he has talked to people too..and some say its wrong...and some say its ok as long as our niyyat is good and we havent done anything wrong.
please give me some advice here..thank you.. khuda hafiz


What is more stable in Islam, a love marriage or an arranged marriage?


Is love that ends in marriage haraam?.

I am a young man and fell in love with our neighbour’s daughter. That went on for two years without her knowing and without me telling her or anyone among my family, and without me meeting her. I was hoping that she would become my wife. Then I had a car accident that left me with extensive injuries and I became almost disabled. I was very worried because the dream that I had of marrying that girl seemed to be slipping away, then suddenly m my sister asked me to tell her frankly what was worrying me, and I told her what was on my mind. My sister said to me: I am going to tell her of your love for her and after that she can choose. The surprise was that she also loved me, and we began to exchange messages of love via my sister (messages that were, by Allaah, noble and chaste). After two years I proposed marriage to her and she agreed, praise be to Allaah. After one year we got married and we lived happily, and during that period I only saw her from afar, because they are our neighbours and we would meet by accident. I never spoke to her except on the wedding night. I have heard that because of our love for one another we have committed a sin. Is this correct? What is the expiation for that sin?.

I am a 24 years old girl. I fell in love, no dates, no meetings involved, pure love to a pure religious person. He promised to marry me and asked me to wait for him as his circumstances are difficult. I do not remember that he called me more than once. I asked him not to call me; because I feel this is wrong, although I love him. I felt that our love started going in the direction, he agreed to this feeling, and respected my opinion. He just sends me E-mails every so often via internet, so that I know his news. We have been in this love relationship for one year. I know this person and his family, and they know us well as well. I love him for Allah’s sake and sure he loves me as well. The problem is that I started receiving proposals, about 8 so far. Every time I refuse because I promised to wait for him. Now I am confused, is what I am doing halal or haram? I pray, Alhamdulillah, all obligatory and optional prayers, and pray qiyaam in the night as well; I fear I lose my good deeds because of what I am doing. Is a pure chaste love haram? Is my love to him halal or haram?.


I am a sister, who usually logs in to Paltalk and then goes to the Islamic rooms so that I may gain some knowledge related to our religion. Sometimes while I am in one of those Islamic rooms in Paltalk,a muslim brother(looking for a wife) in the room asks me to have a private written chat with him so that we get to know one another. Some of the questions he asks me are: where i live, my age, whether i am married(by the way I am not married), if I am planning to get marry, whether I live with my parents, and so on. My problem is, I don't know whether I am allowed(Islamicly) to give non-muharim brother those kinds of informations which related to me.
Is it really SIN to talk to a brother in writing ??.



I have a cousin (daughter of my maternal aunt) who seems to be religiously committed and of good character, but I do not know much about her personality and outlook on life, or how well we would get along. I used the internet as a means to get to know her, whilst being very careful to adhere to proper etiquette, especially since we come from a conservative family. Praise be to Allaah, I reached the decision to marry her in sha Allah, but it may take two years or more until I am ready, because I am still a student in the last year of university.
My question is: Is what I did permissible? Especially since it went on for nearly a year, because the customs of marriage in our society do not allow one partner to get to know the character of the other until they get engaged, but after that if it becomes clear that the two are not compatible and they cancel the engagement, that will lead to problems and severing of family ties. I feel worried about what I did and I am afraid that it may be considered a sin or an act of treachery. It is permissible to continue our correspondence until I come and propose marriage to her?.


I am a girl who believes in Allaah and His Messenger. Is it permissible for me to correspond with a young man through what is known as the “Pen pal corner”?.

i have a question thats bothering me alot for a while now..and i recently got divorce about a year now and i have no kids, its been a year now. my question is since i didnt' knew the guy before i got married and i got married to hum coz my parents thought he was nice for me..now since it happened with me i thought it would be nice if i know somebody before i get married not in a sense of dating but just talking and knowing whether he is a right person or wrong.. the point is i dont' want to hurt myself or end uplike this again so my question is does islam allows a girl to pick the guy and marriage i want some information regarding this.. i would appreciate your help

Internet relationships

She is afraid that her marriage may not be successful because she got to know him before marriage

I am a young Arab man who lives according to our Arab traditions, or what is known as a good attitude and etiquette, but this commitment has nothing to do with adhering to Islamic teachings, because in our country adhering to tradition does not contradict listening to music, mixing, dealing with riba-based banks and so on. I proposed marriage to a girl in the same environment that I am living in, and her family have been friends of my family for a long time. They all approved of the marriage since they know that we are both of good character. But my problem, unfortunately, started when I began to read about the rules on marriage in Islam and I started to reduce mixing and to pray regularly in the mosque and let my beard grow and not deal with riba-based banks and not listen to music and so on. Now both families are regarding me as an extremist, except those on whom Allaah has mercy, and they started to make this girl afraid of me, even though she loves me very much and has told them all about that many times. The girl wants to be committed but she is not able to do some things such as wearing niqaab or covering the face. So she too regards these things as signs of extremism in religion, as her family do.
Should I forget about this girl who is of good character and proper etiquette and who is keen to pray and recite the adhkaar of the Messenger (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) and is trying to be committed, and who loves me and tells others of that, and does not want to lose me, but she is unable to do some things that have to do with religion, such as covering her face, and look for someone else who is committed but whose family and behaviour I do not know and my judgement of her will be only according to what I hear from those who know her family and behaviour?


Can muslim guy and girl could go out on a date before their marriage? If they do then what would be the consequences of that? What does Islam says about going out before marriage?

I read the hadiths about the prophet peace be upon him allowing the man to see the woman before deciding whether to marry her or not. My questions is, what exactelly is the person allowed to see exactelly?
Is he allowed to see her hair (entire head) ?


Tentang Khitbah / Pertunangan
What is the concept of engagement in Islam. Usually an engagement party is one in which the fiance/fiancee exchange rings. Is this the prescribed method in the shariah?.

Is it forbidden for muslims to declare the engagement (alkhotoba)? If yes, who are the people supposed to know about the engagement?
Are Close friends allowed to know about it??.


A year ago I proposed marriage to a girl and we reached an agreement on all issues, but the engagement has now gone on for a long time. Now I want to do the marriage contract, but her family are refusing and they say that she is still studying, and I have to wait three years until she finishes her studies in the university, then we can get married.
I do not know whether it is haraam for the engagement to last so long or not. I appreciate your website.


Does a brother has any legal bond on a sister he has intentions to Marry? What I actually mean is: a brother is interested in a sister and wants to marry her, however, another brother wants to marry her also but he does not want to engage her as yet (Kitbah). because one brother wants to marry the sister does that mean that the other brother should stay away?

Konsep saya tentang cinta
http://islamqa.info/en/ref/82941/love


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